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Sent home and told to die of starvation

I was with my lovely wife for 20 years. We were 16 years old when we met a party in Prospect. Like all couples we had our ups and downs. Cancer had already taken enough from our family but the day we were told that my wife's small intestine had stopped working and that treatment was no longer an option. There's no solution or option. I can't imagine what was going through my wife's head. Inside I was turning all sorts of ways I couldn't say or do anything. Rachel was so strong, It's such a cruel disease not being able to eat at all for about a month all up. I would see her chewing food and spitting it out just to get the flavour. In the time Rach had left somehow she wrote her own eulogy, birthday cards for our 4 year old boys and a letter to me. The RDNS home care nurses were amazing and when my wife was ready to go to paletive care at the Modbury hospice they were an amazing team too. I guess in a situation like this the trauma and toll it took on myself and our family is still having an affect and I think it always will. I don't think I'll ever get over it it just gets easier to deal with. I lost faith in everything I couldn't understand that it was okay to let someone die like this when we wouldn't let an animal die like that. I'm so glad that euthanasia is now getting closer to becoming legal under strict rules which is fair enough. I don't think anyone can be prepared for what we went through. To be honest I can't remember what services were offered afterwards I went downhill fast and I was in autopilot mode. There's no right or wrong way of dealing with something like this and if people are trying to help it can only be a good thing. I wasn't ready to be Widow at 36 but I get to see my boys everyday and I'm slowly getting better. My wife Rachel doesn't get to.

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